|
|
|
Add the New Braunfels Texas Wurstfest to Your Fall Travel
GEMÜTLICHKEIT (warm friendliness, good cheer) “Willkommen zum WURSTFEST! Prosit, und hab' Spasz!” is the slogan for this really appealing annual event. It means “Welcome. Cheers! To your health, and have fun!” Combining a unique German community...
RoomSaver.com Reels in Travelers Who Prefer to Plan Ahead
July 6, 2005- RoomSaver.com, an online showroom of over 10,000 hotel coupons across the US and a division of Trader Publishing Company announced today that interest in online reservations has increased by 10 percent in the last two years. Members...
Seven Secrets for Successful Travel
ndependent travel in Europe - Seven Secrets for Success One: Do not try to see and do too much. You may end up actually seeing very little. I think it is better to see more of fewer countries/regions and see them properly. You may not want to...
Ten "Travel" Commandments
I. Thou shalt pack HALF the clothes you want.
II. Thou shalt take TWICE the money you will need.
III. Thou shalt pack an abundance of Patience.
IV. Thou shalt NOT count calories, especially on cruises.
V. Your extra large luggage...
Traveling on a Budget? Try These Money-Saving Vacation Ideas
If your spirit of adventure is larger than your travel budget, these money-saving tips might just put your next vacation within reach. 1. Swap homes with other vacationers If you prefer to mingle with the locals rather than other tourists, look...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
A TIME-TRAVEL POSTCARD...
(c) Theolonius McTavish 2004. All rights reserved.
Seeking a spot of serenity somewhere in the universe, I recently booked a deep-discount dodgy berth on the ‘White Elephant Express Space Shuttle’, to a little known place in a galaxy far, far away.
“IT” (otherwise known as HD 36405.b) is not your average “oddball” exo-solar planet made of rock that wobbles on its end and zips around a nearby star in less than 2.46 days.
Most linear thinkers have a great deal of difficulty even comprehending why on earth anyone in their “right mind” would be interested in visiting a planet called “IT”. Not being a linear thinker with an investment in the “right” answer, I didn’t give a hoot. After all, what does one (who walks on water and listens to miffed mortals all day long) do for a frigging night off, now I ask you?
If truth be told, (after reading random excerpts from “The Itty Bitty Bunkum Book About Life, the Universe and Practically Everything Under the Sun Not To Mention Stuff Going On In Remote Galaxies), I was simply delirious. According to its noted author, Dr. Jarn Leffer, “IT is a ’must-see’ for those with little time on their hands and a passionate interest in Innocuous Things.”
As planets go, “IT” is a pretty ho-hum celestial pit-stop with perhaps one exception… the welcome notice that reads, “Cosmic Cowboys - Welcome to the furthest unexplored outreaches of the Galaxy … Home to the Flop Fairy and Oodles of Gadflies!”
“IT” is populated by colonies of giggling, green grasshoppers . What else would you expect to inhabit a far-flung, fantasy-challenged hellhole like this? But, what made “IT” strictly speaking a strange place was the fact that the inhabitants munch on green, biodegradable garbage bags just for fun.
Lacking masticating capabilities, the gadflies process their food by vigorously jumping up and down on it. No wonder they have no need for fast-food franchises, strip malls or landfills!
Anyway, I picked up this picturesque postcard of the blessed ballyhooing buglugs. They look perfectly happy but don’t be deceived. In reality, they’re just a gang of glad-handing grasshoppers. They don’t play golf, eat burgers, or drink beer -- and none can frost a rock! Come to think of it, apart from the company of bugs and the elusive flop fairy, this pathetic planet has precious little going for IT!!
To put "IT" bluntly, life on “IT” is just shy of a tittynope*. The jolly green grasshoppers and the carefully manicured green fairways with sand traps as far as the eye can see certainly make for an utterly harmless world. Regrettably, without a pair of golf clubs, a dimpled white ball, and the notion that 19th hole even exists on this planet -- ”IT” is about as fun as bag of toads!
Life Lesson 42: Remember to talk to your travel agent before ever embarking on a flight of fancy to a planet called “IT” in a galaxy named “Have-a-Nice-Day”!!
__________
*"Tittynope" for you whiffling word-peckers means "a small quantity of anything left over".
If you want to know what those green, glad-handing grasshoppers from "IT" look like -- ask any four-year old, or failing that request some help from a Flying Saucer Club member.
About the Author
Theolonius McTavish is a somewhat spaced-out time-traveller (of minor relevance and importance in the great scheme of things). When not probing odd things happening somewhere in the depths of the universe, he enjoys chinwagging with all manner of merry folk at www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com
|
|
|
|
|
|